Thursday, August 01, 2019

Keep calling it a hellhole, Motherfucker: My Baltimore Rant, Part 3 of 3.

Thanks for coming this far with me.

I can’t do a three part blog post without ending it with telling you about the things I love about Baltimore.

What we have here is a big wonderful city with lots of flaws. But the good things are what keep us here and keep us happy. I see it from a slightly different perspective from true blue locals because I am not native to this area. I grew up in a small city in Massachusetts where there wasn’t a lot to do and not a lot of opportunity (at the time) and when I was 18 I could have gone literally anywhere. I almost moved to Portland, Oregon (I did eventually move there for a few short months in 2003. I didn’t like it.) I could have moved to Florida. North Carolina. Boston. Northampton. Anywhere. Or at least, those places where I knew people who wanted me to live with them.

But for various reasons of circumstance and happenstance Baltimore drew my attention.

And while it was a rough place back in the ‘90s, I toughed it out. I rode public transportation at all hours of the night (not an option back home.) I walked everywhere at all hours. I explored. I took it in. I was excited. This was my new city, and I was enjoying being here.

It’s changed, as all places do. But within that change, there are those things that make living in this city which some label a hellhole worthwhile.

Great and abundant city parkland. My house borders one of the largest and in my opinion greatest park in the city, Druid Hill Park, where the third oldest zoo in the country is located, along with a mile and half reservoir loop (under construction at the moment), baseball fields, basketball courts, a pool, and it is one of my favorite places in all of Baltimore. There are a great many parks, many of which are connected by trails, but this one is my favorite.

I love the old buildings and the local history. The Bromo Selzer Tower, the B & O Railroad museum, with its distinctive dome that can be seen from miles away (clear view from the west side of Camden Yards. Beautiful.)

For that matter…Camden Yards is a national treasure, a retro ballpark in the heart of downtown. Hopefully one day we’ll have a good team again and the place will be rocking once more (the Billy Joel concert, the 1st of its kind to ever be held at the Yard was a great example of what it can be like when people show up.).



I love the people here. It was once described to me as “The Beginning of the south.” Ain’t that the truth, y’all?

Sure, sometimes people here can be dicks. Your town probably has some dicks. But most people are not dicks.

The neighborhoods, with their (sorry) quirky charm, the little moments that scream “That is soooo Baltimore”—guy coming out of his house to sing “I am everyday people!” or the ease with which people break out into unplanned dance moves, the guy who runs all over town at all hours every single day, the guy who dressed like Michael Jackson…and cheered people in some dark days.

I could go on. You don’t want me to.

This “quirky charm,” makes this a great city to develop your creative talent. If you have a skill or something to say, chances are there is a scene for you somewhere, or a stage to play on.

…point being, it’s not all hellhole…

But…keep calling it that. I’ll take a stranger’s word on the internet over my own observation any day.

Finally, it’s not about whether Baltimore is horrible or not (the answer: it can be. But not always and not everywhere.) Point being that once again, the president started something to distract everyone and now we are talking about the thing that he wants us to talk about. Hell, I’m doing it, too. It’s all very exhausting.

Get me out of this hellhole.

Thanks for reading.

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