My Gentle Plug for Others to Join Me on Next Month’s Quest.

I always introduce myself as a writer and sort-of musician, and now I add to that, a ramp agent. And as a writer, sort of musician, and ramp agent who writes about being a ramp agent, I am going to use my little forum to invite anyone interested to do something that I have been doing for the last 2 years.

The National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is an event that is now in its 12th year. It is a fun exercise in what founder Chris Baty calls “exuberant imperfection,” or in other words, writing a 50 thousand word novel in only 30 days--during the month of November. More info here: http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/whatisnano

It’s hard, it’s messy, it seems impossible. But it is possible, and what’s more, it is so much fun that I can’t possibly imagine ever going a year without doing it.

November is already my favorite month of the year, with my birthday (the 19th!), football season, the leaves changing, Thanksgiving (along with the Fourth of July, my favorite holiday), and add to that the 30 day sprint to 50 thousand words. And I’m especially excited for this year, because my new job has introduced me to so many people and so many new situations (as my lovely wife said it would when she encouraged me to take this job!) that I think I have a whole new well of inspiration to draw from.

The first year I did it, I came up with the book I called The Best of Thunder Johnson, a story about a cable access employee who accidentally broadcasts a porno movie over the air and then becomes the focus of a disturbed mental patient’s rage. It was fun, it was inspired, and overall I am happy with the final result. It is a story that would never have been possible had I not put forth the effort to write so much in so little time, even if the original product was a complete mess.

I encourage anyone out there to try this with me. You say you don’t have time, that no one can possibly do a good job on a novel in such a short time? That’s half the point! It’s actually more fun to do things like this when you have less time. Because that way, the time you spend writing becomes sacred, and more meaningful, and dare I say, more meditative. It creates a break from the busy world you inhabit. And besides, sleep is overrated.
So do this with me: write a novel. Be my writing buddy! Writing starts November 1!

quick thought about writing...

I’m reading over my last year's somewhat forgotten NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) novel, which I tentatively titled “The Self-Affirmator.” And I think I have given it short shrift by not editing it. As I read over this raw manuscript, I’m finding myself loving it and hating it at the same time, but somewhere in there is a story that I like. I guess I’m thinking about it because the next NaNoWriMo is upcoming, and I’m excited about it.

I look at what I came up with last year as a really hard-fought victory which I rewarded myself by…failing to follow through. I know I’ve been busy and all that, with home improvements that have taken up my work space, with job changes that have kept me…well, working. And that, coupled with an ambivalence about my writing has let this sit on the shelf. And you know what? It shouldn’t. Writing is about committing to the work, believing in yourself and the power of your work.

On my wall hangs a great quote: “Those seeking success in their writing must, above all, be prepared for the long haul, with unflinching commitment to their work…as with a broken heart, there is no therapy but going forward.”*

I should look at my wall more often.




*from Writer's Journal--when I have time I'll make sure to credit this properly, 'k?

My first draft is done!!!

I finished my book!
It’s called The Self-Affirmator.
This is the beard I grew in the 28 days to coincide with the novel writing.
Can’t wait to shave it off today.






http://www.nanowrimo.org///eng/user/312315

NaNo Blog Post

My "Playoff Beard", Day 11


Whew…I’ve put 17,000 words into a new month-long novel writing project as part of the National Novel Writing Month and…well, it’s going pretty well. It’s the 11th day, I’ve got my playoff beard going (I’ll shave when I hit 50,000, or on December 1, whichever comes first.) I just wanted to give the update and talk about what it’s been like so far.
This year is turning out to be tougher than last year, at least to start. I’m finding myself forgetting and now re-learning some of the things I stumbled into last year, and maybe possibly now just getting into some sort of flow. The biggest lesson of last year was to put character first and plot will come--after all the founder of the National Novel Writing Month wrote the manual called “No Plot, No Problem.” It’s true. I have no plot, but my new main character suggests a wealth of possibilities.

(Again, a shameless free plug for my last year’s NaNoWriMo book, The Best of Thunder Johnson here!)
Anyway…
The title for the new book is The Self-Affirmator, I’ll try to put up a fun excerpt or two in time.
Cheers. Word.
Okay.

http://www.nanowrimo.org/

Self-Publishing: Democratizing and very Punk Rock

This post about self-publishing was written for a contest on Goodreads.

The rules: We want to hear your thoughts about self-publishing – a blog post about the merits of self-publishing and how it might change the face of publishing in the future. What will self-publishing look 25 years from now, 50 years from now? How has self-publishing made strides in recent years? That sort of thing. Basically, we want to know: What’s your opinion about self-publishing?


I seem to have made a career in self-publishing, so it seems only natural that I would be a staunch supporter of it. I’ve always had a very do-it-yourself mentality about my writing. Self-publishing is very democratizing. It is in the spirit of punk rock, getting up and doing what you do because it needs to be done. It does not need to be dependent upon a record label or in this case, a publishing company. For me, it’s always been about getting people to read my stuff, and doing it in a way that made sense for me.

A little background: I have been writing for about 20 years now, and the brunt of my work has been in a 20-40 page photocopied and stapled book I call the Davezine. It has never been a big money-maker for me. There is a lot of expense involved and at times I have wished for the help of unpaid interns for the collating and stapling. But it is a labor of love. It has taken many years to finally come to a happy medium in re-producing these publications, and not letting my personal space become overwhelmed with too many copies of something when I don’t need them. Now I simply make them per order, keeping a small number on hand. Recently (here’s my free plug) I wrote and self-published my first book, building off of a model that I have been using for years: do it yourself, get it out there yourself. http://davecookson.tripod.com/thunderjohnson.html

Self-publishing, in either a zine or a book form provides an immediate avenue for readers, as well as being a fulfilling way to connect with readers. I may not have the largest audience, but I have a very loyal one. If it is all about building True Fans, people who will read whatever you write and go great lengths to follow you, that is empowering in a way that I feel cannot be achieved otherwise. People who have been reading my stuff for years are people that I know, people I have met, and people who feel an inclusiveness that they would not get out of a more polished and mass-produced work.

Self-publishing is limiting in that you can produce only so many items to so many readers, but it can also be a very viral thing--I’ve picked up many readers by having someone finding my ‘zine in a restaurant, coffee shop, or waiting room. Those people who find me then get to feel that inclusiveness, and then spread it to others. And that is what is gratifying about doing it yourself: it happens purely because someone out there picked it up and thought it was good. There was no heavily financed marketing campaign backing it.

Obviously, self-publishing has gotten easier over the years--the first zines I made were written by hand, later by manual typewriter and only within the last few years have I upgraded to a better computer and printer. I imagine that for people like me, the future is already here, with new programs and applications that I am still unfamiliar with.

We’d all like to be able to have someone sell our work and have nothing to do but write and count our millions. But writing is not so kind to everyone. At least when I make my own work and put it out there myself there is a chance someone will notice it. It has happened before with others who have made zines like mine (Pete Jordan of Dishwasher or Zoe Trope of Please Don’t Kill the Freshman come to mind ). I aim to produce work that is true to what I want to write, and have people (even a small number of people) actually read it. To that end, I self-publish.



www.backwordbooks.com

http://www.backwordbooks.com/2009/09/16/the-backword-books-contest-win-7-books-by-backword-authors/

Quick update on the new book/new excerpt

I've been doing a few pre-releases of my new book, The Best of Thunder Johnson, and in the coming weeks I am going to put up a web page with all the ordering info about the "official" release. Look for it later this month!

Here is another excerpt. It started as sort of a parody of the style of Chuck Palahniuk...

Asking questions and then not caring about the answers.
Moses watched the new guy in the days that he was here in the hospital. Maybe he could be his friend…
Moses, 38, fat, obnoxious, stumbled into conversations. He could stare intently at you and ask a question yet never hear an answer. In a bizarre way, he was the opposite of the narcissistic people around him, whose pathetic lives would consume them. The same stories, the same failures recounted in the same voices with only slight modifications in multiple re-telling. It was all good to him. They pretended to be interesting, he pretended to be interested.
Copacetic.
Symbiotic.
Parasitic.
Pathetic.
Places that were cold and impersonal became friendly to certain people. People avoided contact nowadays. But there were still people who needed it. Like Moses.
All around him, he saw people tuning out, with their I-pods, laptops, what have you. Whatever happened to people needing to talk? Why did people even bother going outside to be around other people if they weren’t going to even interact?
Moses didn’t like it so much. Out in the world. Which was why he came here so much as he did, to be with people who wanted to talk. Because he wanted to listen. Or at least pretend to listen.
Needy.
Oblivious.
Maddening.
Strange.
Moses tried to talk to women, but it never seemed to work out.
Too fat.
Obese.
Unlovable.
Alone.
He read books to try to learn what he was doing wrong. Books that would help him in conversation, books that would help him to talk to women. Listening. They liked a man who listened.
Self improvement section. He haunted this section of the bookstore, tried to find the right books for him, and while he was at it, he looked for women.
Still too fat.
Obese.
Wanting.
Needing.

So he learned to listen. Or at least to look like he was listening. He read books on listening.
Chapter 1: Smiling and nodding.
Chapter 2: Asking questions.
Chapter 3: “And how did that make you feel?”
And so on.
It was a gold mine. Moses ate it up. He couldn’t wait to try it out.

There was never a shortage of questions from Moses, the listener. But still he went home alone. It seemed that no one wanted to be around him, even when he listened to them. It made him very sad. Fat, alone, miserable inside but cheerful outside.
That was Moses.

Excerpt #2: The Best of Thunder Johnson, novel out this September!

This section sets up my main character and what he does for a living.

Hanson West looked at his watch. A few more hours to go. This Friday shift, by himself, putting tapes in the machines at the right times. He couldn’t wait to get off, to get the hell out of here just for a night. There was an itching in his belly to get on the craps table, to make up for a bad night a week ago.

He looked around at this “Command Center” at Channel 2. He worked a console that had half a dozen slots for video tapes to play. To his right was a small sound-proof booth, about the size of a closet, for voiceovers. To his left was the door to the hall. Directly in front of him, past his console and through the big window was the studio itself, with its three cameras and a small set of risers upon which an audience could sit. Right behind him was the phone.

The Command Center could accommodate 4 other people--during the filming of shows there could be a director (someone to call the shots--literally), someone to operate the character generator (to put words on the screen) and someone to work the phones (because people in this town loved to call the station and swear over the air and it was the screener’s job to prevent this) and West’s job, the master controller (to sit in the big Captain Kirk chair). But during the week, or during the slow times, it was usually just West, all by himself, drinking his coffee and playing the tapes.

West had finished the Awesomebucks 20-miler coffee a while back, and now it had worked its way to his bladder. He checked the time--still another 10 minutes to The Ronald Ronaldson Report. He got up while the tape ran.

“And you know what else? I think that the meter maids give out more tickets to white people, just out of spite for the misery that they endure!”

Down the hall, past the studio, was the lobby, and then the boss’s office, just across from the only bathroom in this one-level facility. Most days West never saw the boss. If he ever did, it was usually not for anything good--this was not an easy business and he was usually stressed out about one thing or another. Sometimes it was a wonder this station was still afloat.

Hanson West eliminated the contents of the 20-miler and washed his hands and then closed the door behind him. He looked at the door to the boss’s office. It was closed, as usual.

He returned to his chair back in the Master Controller room, just as the show was finishing up. He prepared to run the next tape, which would require a simple flick of a switch, done just at the right moment so that the people of Hartsburg, who may or may not care if the next show went on in time, would have no reason to complain. Even though the common wisdom was that no one ever really watched this stuff, one would be surprised at how often people would complain when he didn’t do his job right.

It was time--West flipped the switch to make the change to the next program, and The Ronald Ronaldson Report was over for another week. He sat back in the chair again and watched as the new program came across the monitor. The phone stayed silent: a successful switch.

West sighed. Just another day in the paradise that was Cable Access, Channel 2 in Hartsburg, Massachusetts.

Excerpt #1: The Best of Thunder Johnson

This is the first in a series of excerpts of my upcoming novel, The Best of Thunder Johnson, which will be out this September.

A few weeks ago…

“Just settle down sir, we’re gonna get you some help.”
The man in the back of the squad car thrashed around, as much as he could under restraint. What the hell’s happening?
“It’ll be okay, sir, just settle down.”
Shaking, rocking back and forth, the man muttered “Lights out, lights out, who do you wanna live with , Mommy or Daddy, c’mon Ronny, Mommy or Daddy…”
The car rolled through the streets of Hartsburg, past Lake Runoff, just across from the Cable Access station.
“What’s his deal?” the driver said to his partner.
“Dunno. That’s for the shrinks at HMHF to figure out. We couldn’t just leave ‘em there in that parking lot.”
“Christ, this town…it’s got all the nuts.”
“Yeah, well…‘to serve and protect,’ right?”
“Jesus…”
The man screamed “Lights out!”
“Shut up!” the officer yelled.
“Fuck it, turn on the radio.”
*
Do you ever actually try to talk to people out there? A lot of people believe some really crazy things. It’s why most things on TV are so heavily scripted, why you never see ugly, fat, or retarded people. But people believe really crazy shit--most don’t have their facts straight, or are operating under some delusion that rules their lives…like somehow someone’s going to come along and save us, Gandhi, Jesus, Obama, somebody. We engage in bizarre superstitions, offer prayers to a God we never see, hope that one day it’ll all make sense.
The reality is we’re a huge collection of fucked up people with fucked up ideas who are just lucky that no one ever listens to us or cares about what we actually have to say.
*
“Sir? Can you hear me?”
Ron found himself on an exam table behind a curtain. He could hear the sounds of people in the emergency room, phones ringing and nurses talking. He could barely remember how he got here. He was just trying to buy some video tape when they got him.
“I have a few questions to ask you, can you answer for me?” The Doctor wore a sweater over a shirt and tie, and spoke in a soft, reassuring voice.

Ronaldson grunted.
“Name?”
“…Ron Ronaldson.”
“Good, Ron. Do you know where you are?”
“…Here. Hospital.”
“That’s right. Do you know what day it is?”
“…Monday.”
“That’s right. And do you know what month it is?”
“…September.”
“All right. Sounds good.” The ER Doctor picked up his clipboard and made some notes.
And finally,
“Ron, can you tell me: How old are you?”
The look in his eyes suddenly turned back to anger.

“I know how old I am!” he spat back at the Doctor. “I know how old I am! Lights out! I know how old I am, how old are you!”
“Ron--”
“How old are you?”
“How old are you!!!”

A general update on Davey G-related things.

A fan asked me the other day if I had come out with anything new (music or Davezines) that he had missed. This person has bought everything I have come out with in the last 7 years, and I see him at least 3 or 4 times a week, just the type of person I always make sure to update on new developments.

And it occurred to me that to some, like this person, who have followed my “career," it might seem as though I have dropped off the face of the earth. While it is true that Davezine #14: The Bad Roommate Issue has been put on hold, and I have been quiet on the music front (more on that later) I realized it may be in my best interest to provide an update on what it is I am up to, and what people might have to look forward to from me.

I have been doing more writing in the last 6 months or so than ever before and I am making steady progress in the editing of my novel, The Best of Thunder Johnson. I think it is a great story. It is about a guy who works at a cable access station who inadvertently shows a homemade porno movie over the air, who becomes the focus of a disturbed mental patient’s rage. (I’ve been told that being able to state your book’s plot in a single sentence is a good thing, so to that end this is what my book breaks down to.)
I have some plans for this book, which are still developing. All I can say now is that it is coming, and it is taking up a lot of my time, which is why I haven’t come out with any new printed material yet. I would like everyone to read it when it comes out (hopefully this June) and I may self-publish a limited number of copies, if there is interest. As far as this goes, I will offers details in future messages. (Here’s where I plug getting on the mailing list from my site which will keep you in the loop for any future projects.)
Overall, I am just looking at a big picture and trying to focus on getting this writing thing off the ground. After all, I’ve been doing it for something like 20 years (if you count bad high school writing) so I think it’s time I just strap in for the long haul, because apparently this is what I do. You know. Writing.

As to music, Davey G and the Keyboard…
I have a lot of new songs, and the goal is to incorporate as many of them as I can into my set this year. As it stands, I have 3 shows on the schedule, the next one being March 14 at the Sidebar, with another one in May (TBA) and another in June (also TBA). I might (and this is a big “might”) put out another album this year, or early next year. It really depends on a number of things. I think the show is as great as ever, I encourage people to come check it out.

To review:
Keep an eye out for my novel, The Best of Thunder Johnson,
Listen for the upcoming Davey G and the Keyboard shows,
A possible new Davey G album,
And maybe, just maybe, the Bad Roommate edition of Davezine.

Thanks for reading my blog today.

Davey G.

Finished!

Finished writing my novel yesterday.
It is called "The Best of Thunder Johnson."

Details to come...


Davey G.

We are on the edge of the beginning of the far turn, heading toward the backstretch.

A-hem. As of yesterday, November 19, my birthday (thank you) I am at the 35,000 word mark in the National Novel Writing Month challenge of writing a 50, 000 word novel in a month.
The title for this, my first novel is: The Best of Thunder Johnson. I describe it as satire/parody, but it is at this point more about survival than quality. I hope to be finishing up this wonderful little mess I’ve been making (which hopefully will be a gem when I go back to edit later) before the upcoming holiday, but if not, there’s still the better part of a weekend to get this done. So here I go, hope to report back as a Nanowrimo “winner” (all those who get to 50,000 are considered winners) the next time I post.

http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/312315

--Dave “The Novelist” G.

Nanowrimo update

I am now at the halfway point in my 50,000 word novel that I am supposed to write in 30 days. It has taken many turns, and I’m not sure what will happen between now and the dramatic ending I have planned, but it’s been a good run so far.

In other news…I think I will call my children’s album “Rated ‘G’”

Anyway…
check on my progress here.
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/312315
thanks for reading!
Dave

Week one of my quest for 50,000 words in a month.

I just wanted to post here to update on my progress on the Nanowrimo challenge of writing a 50,000 word novel in the span of 30 days. It has been one week and so far I am on pace and I just wanted to reflect on what I’ve noticed.
I’m learning a few things about myself, and my writing, and noting how this deviates from my usual writing habits. For one thing, this is not easy. It is very difficult to crap out words when you are unsure that it will ever make it to the re-write stage. For another thing, I have a very, very hard time killing my Inner Editor. My short stories are usually idea-based and they live and breathe through painful editing. This is the exact opposite of that. This is just me trying to plow forward and tell myself that, crap as it might be, I need to keep moving. Quality is not the point.
You see, in the first day or so I sat down and typed, typed , typed and built up a nice word cushion…and then promptly realized that I did not like what I was writing, at least not enough to spend a month with it. So I started to focus on a character I liked and made the story all about him, all the while keeping what I’d written for the sake of word count (and hell, it might still fit in later). So what I have is a delightful mess.
But as Chris Baty, the founder of this event writes, that is probably exactly the point.
Anyway…my word count is 12,008. My story is moving along, but I have no idea where it will go. Stay tuned, be my writing buddy.

http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/312315

My new zine will be available Monday!

After more than a year since the last one, Davezine #13 will hit the streets this Monday, March 31st. Low Level Bureaucrats 3: The Rise of the Collective. Look for it on-line (look for the link here soon!) or at many local stores (also to be listed here.) Initial readings of the zine have been positive, and I can’t wait for everyone to check it out.

Read Low Level Bureaucrats 3: The Rise of the Collective! THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE THE COLLECTIVE …

www.daveygandthekeyboard.com

Davezine Myspace Page

Hey Everyone,

Davezine is my personal fiction zine, which I have been doing for about 13 years.
My stories are often about desperate people in unusual situations--comedic political stories, messed-up quasi gay Porn, stories about childhood issues, what have you. If you are the type of person who would enjoy reading a story about a person whose impotency medication makes him retarded, you are my kind of reader.

My influences, if this helps you: Christopher Buckley, Kurt Vonnegut, The Simpsons, Arrested Development (the TV show), Charles Bukowski, the city I live in, the city I used to live in, my messed up family.

The latest ones have been the Low Level Bureaucrats saga, about a troubled city not unlike Baltimore, who elect a mayor on the basis of his promise to eliminate meter maids.

My long dormant myspace page has been updated to serve as the page for all things relating to Davezine, and I am inviting you to check it out. It has links to the Davezine catalog, covers to all the zines, and a new blog with previews of the upcoming Davezine #13, which will be out this March.

Visit the page, be my friend, be my friend, be my fucking friend. And then look for the new Davezine, coming soon!

Thanks!

Davey G.

myspace.com/davezine

News about the up-coming Davezine 13!

At the risk of cursing myself-- with the exception of some proof-reading, some editing, a change or two here and there, I am proud to say that
Low Level Bureaucrats 3: The Rise of the Collective is done!

Working nearly every available day, getting frustrated with dead ends and a story that has gone through multiple re-workings, now I have a (mostly) finished story, which concludes the Low Level Bureaucrats Trilogy--at least as far as the print version goes. I have decided that any future adventures in Beatown will live on-line.

I started Low Level Bureaucrats way back in 2004. It was an idea I had to write a story about a guy who runs for mayor on a platform of eliminating meter maids. That story took me about 8 months to write, and ultimately it played a role in returning Davey G and the Keyboard to the stage at the 2005 Davezine 11 release after a 3 year hiatus.

In 2006, I wrote Low Level Bureaucrats 2: (Karl) Love Story , which turned out to be one of my easiest writing experiences ever, with none of the usual hesitation and re-working that had gone into previous stories. I had the idea, I worked on it steadily for 3 months, and it just came out.

Part 3 was not so easy. As some readers may know, I had worked on Part 3 for months and months and struggled along to get 12 pages of a story that I just didn’t like. Not that it was bad, but it appeared that I’d been watching the Simpsons too much, and had maybe unconsciously copped a plot-line that, while not bad, just wasn’t one that I was happy ending the trilogy with.

Then I came across the article about how a drug for Restless Leg Syndrome leads to the side effect of gambling. This inspired me to re-imagine Karl Love’s gambling addiction of LLB 2 into a side effect from a drug used to treat his Freudian Slip. And then I thought about things in my adopted home town of Baltimore that really irritate the hell out of me, and it morphed into a story that I feel effectively wraps up the trilogy, and serves as catharsis for…those things that irritate the hell out of me in Baltimore. (see: the Parochialist).
And even that story hit a snag. I blasted something out in two months, then had to go back and rework at least half of it. (The lesson here: plan your stories before you write them, you will thank yourself for it later.)
But very soon, Davezine Number 13, featuring Low Level Bureaucrats 3: the Rise of the Collective will come out for all to read.

Look for my new Davezine at the end of March! I will announce it here, on my blog, on my site, on myspace, mailing list--wherever you are reading this!

For back issues, (Davezine 1-12) here’s the link to my catalog!
http://davecookson.tripod.com/testcatalog.html

Deleted Scenes.

I haven't posted much lately, what with just getting married and work and all, but I've really been workng my ass off on my personal writing projects. Plus, I have this idea for my next Davezine, which will feature Low Level Bureaucrats 3, and...deleted scenes from the story I scrapped!
This is the intro to that section that I am working on. I hope you enjoy it!
--Dave G.




Low Level Bureaucrats 3 has taken many turns since I began it so many months ago. I thought it might be fun if I presented the version of LLB3 that I scrapped as “deleted scenes,” like on a DVD.
The basic summary of that story was this:

Karl Love, disguised as a younger man named Kyle Jones, seduces Loretta the meter maid to get an “in” to the heavily fortified Beatown Parking Authority. Jones waits for a crucial piece of equipment to arrive that will enable him to execute his plans. While he waits, he stumbles upon a fetish for women in meter maid uniforms, which makes the sex between him and Loretta amazing. Meanwhile, Loretta, happy in her current position, gets summoned into her supervisor’s office and is promoted to a job she doesn’t want. She quits her job in protest and comes home to Jones, only to find that he is no longer as attracted to her now that she is not a meter maid.

Loretta spends her days looking for another job. She goes to job interviews and feeds the meters. Jones spends all day on the internet looking at meter maids and waiting for the device to arrive. Eventually he finds a meter maid that he brings home and has sex with, while stealing her security badge. Jones tries to pick up his package, but is frustrated by the incompetence of Shit Ex (the corporation formed when a local shipping company merged with a popular laxative) and is told to wait at home tomorrow. Loretta looks around at the crop of meter maids which are a “disgrace to the position,” but she turns her back to it-- “the world is just going to have to get by without the best meter maid in the department.”

Loretta becomes suspicious of Jones, who only stays because he waiting for his package. She goes to a job interview that takes three hours, thinking that she will be getting a parking ticket--then is pissed off when she doesn’t get one. “What the fuck! I was in there for three hours and I don’t even get a parking ticket!” She marches back to the Beatown Parking Authority to get her job back, roughs up William Shatner (the boss who was a dead ringer for the Canadian actor, who in fact changed his name to confuse everyone) on his way out to his car, and then suits up in her old powder blue uniform and goes on a tear, writing tickets left and right.
Meanwhile, the detonator arrives, and Jones is thrilled. He is just about to leave the apartment when Loretta comes back, full of confidence in her powder blue uniform. He drops what he’s doing to make love to her on the floor…
…then afterward discovers his cheating, and is more incensed that he is cheating with a meter maid of inferior quality.

He leaves, sneaks in to the BPA, plants his devices in the meters--”all I need is one!” and then she finds out what he has been doing on-line, and stumbles across his plan to destroy Beatown. She calls the authorities (“Don’t put any money in the meter!”), then follows him where she thinks he will be. The two confront one another, and Jones destroys Beatown.

I thought the idea was really funny, but as I worked on it for months and months and got stuck, I came across the idea that I really wanted to be working on. It came from an article about a drug used to treat Restless Leg Syndrome, which claims compulsive gambling as one of it’s side effects. For whatever reason, it got me to thinking: what if Karl Love’s gambling compulsion of LLB 2 had actually been the result of his taking a drug that he used to treat his Freudian Slip? And the idea morphed into the story I have presented as Low Level Bureaucrats 3: The Rise of the Collective, which I wrote in two months.

And I was left with 12 pages of material destined for the trash can (or the recycle bin on my desktop). But one again my plucky resourcefulness kicked in, and I thought, what if I just made Davezine 13 a sort of a collection of the best of the gags that would otherwise be lost…like the deleted scenes/alternate endings on a DVD? So here we are.

www.daveygandthekeyboard.com

ps--new show announcements soon!

To Hell with Writer’s Block!

I read somewhere once that when Inventor Thomas Edison’s Lab burned down, his reaction was something like “What a great opportunity! Now I can start over!” (not an exact quote) and I have experienced a somewhat similar feeling with my writing.

I was at work and it just totally hit me: “Scrap the story! Start over!” and as crazy as that sounded to me after having done so much work, it seemed really appealing. It occurred to me that in this great wonderful world of satire and ridiculousness, there is (theoretically) just too much to write about for me to ever claim writer’s block. Suddenly I’m having ideas left and right about where I want to go with the new story-line, and I’m filling pages and pages with them. And just now, today, I sat for a solid two hours and banged out the rough outline and some scenes for the story: Low Level Bureaucrats 3: A New Beginning. And finally, I can truly say that it will be the story I really want to write. Inspiration is crazy like that sometimes. But I’ll take it.

www.daveygandthekeyboard.com
ps--this inspiration hit while reading some article about how the drug they give for Restless Leg Syndrome has a side effect of making people want to gamble. I'm not making this up.

Lost Bureaucrats

Watching a “Survivor’s Guide” for “Lost”
last night, the creators talked about planting “Easter Eggs” in their episodes: little threads where certain characters we know from the island interact in the flashbacks. In my new story, Low Level Bureaucrats 3, I am attempting something similar, by tying minor characters from part one and two into the action of part three, possibly giving them more depth from their previous appearances. Of course, the TV show is a mystery and my story is sort of a political satire, but I can appreciate the difficulty of continuity and figuring everything out.
Of the creative projects I am undertaking lately, this one is the hardest. Basically the plot has to do with Karl Love’s final revenge against the city of Beatown and I’ve had to go over it a lot to make it make sense, especially with new ideas that I know would make it better.
One thought about how everyone is bitching about the new season of Lost and how much it sucks: if you have been a fan of the first two seasons, doesn’t this show deserve to be cut a little slack for lagging a little? I mean, after all, hasn’t it entertained us for free for two whole years?
Maybe I'm just too sensitive.


I watch TV.

Davey G Writing thoughts...

I’ve come to realize that the way I write has changed over the years. Whereas I used to write the way that I spoke, now I seem to write more the way that I think, with all the messiness of human thought, non-sequiturs, random references, etc.
I’m pretty much writing every day now, and it is easy to get into patterns that only make sense to me. Though I primarily write for myself, it is still nice when other people can get the jokes. Or maybe keeping with my sort of cult status, I need to store those random little gems in my stories or songs that maybe only a handful will understand, a la Matt Groening. It’s tough. In this, I see yet another reason why it is so hard to achieve financial success in any creative field: you drive yourself crazy thinking about what people will like, as opposed to what you want to do.
I realize relatiblity is something I need to keep in mind when I write. I have never wanted to be one of those “look how clever I am” writers, incomprehensible or boring. I would like to write clear, plot-driven stories that are funny with funny characters but that make sense. After all, what good is writing shit that nobody gets? Unless of course it amuses me. (You see the problem.)


Eat the Corn Flakes, Karl.

www.daveygandthekeyboard.com