A Belated Post about Kim Shattuck

This is belated, in more ways than one…

I’ve had many feelings about an artist with whom I only had a passing familiarity until the day after she died.

Lately when a famous musician dies, I have spent at least part of the evening playing their songs, as a small tribute and remembrance. Eddie Money got some love, though after his hits, I kinda lose interest; Tom Petty (I crank up "Won’t Back Down" every time I hear it on the radio); Dolores O'riordan’s death reminded me that while I used to really like the Cranberries, I think I only retain affection for a small number of their songs.

Kim Shattuck died a few days ago at age 56 after a long bout with ALS. And so I started listening to the Muffs, the band she fronted and a band I was only acquainted with thru Spotify playlists.

And now I have been listening to the Muffs (and nothing else) for 2 days straight.

Suddenly this band that I only knew for two great songs (Lucky Guy and Honeymoon) has taken on a spot in my heart. Starting with the 1993 self-titled album, and just playing the albums available on Spotify straight through, I have been blown away by this music that somehow previously escaped my attention. These catchy, short, pop punk gems that usually culminate with a fantastic scream (sometimes they begin with it…or sometimes she throws it in the middle) all have something to love. I have found myself singing the songs even though I’ve never heard them before, such is the simple structure of the songs. I don’t even say that as a bad thing. It’s awesome. (Even songs I maybe don’t like quite as much are short enough so I don’t have time to really dislike them.)

And I have belatedly come the inescapable conclusion that this band was something special.

In two days I know my favorite song is “Outer Space” from the “Happy Birthday to Me” album, and that many of these songs are as deceptively simple as they are brilliant. Like the Pixies (who she was in for a minute in 2013) and Daniel Johnston, the Muffs made honest music that was uncomplicated. There is not a truly bad song in the lot of them.

Kim Shattuck knew what the fuck she was doing when she wrote her songs.

And I am in it, nonstop. I don’t want to listen to anything else right now. This band that existed right under my nose and poked their head out into my life in the last year or two on Spotify, enough to make it on to a few of my playlists, is now finally receiving my full attention.

I am so sorry that I wasn’t on board with them before, when I could have gone to see them live. But in 2 days I have belatedly realized the true awesomeness that this band brought to the world.

Better late than never, right? And now I love the Muffs. And maybe you will, too.

My Unofficial Ranking of MLB Playoff Team Preferences (and who I Will be Rooting for as an Orioles Fan who will probably be on the couch for several more years…)

There are ten teams going to the playoffs and alas, mine is not one of them. But just for fun, I am offering my ranking of my preferences, hopefully with a justification of my ranking.

Here we go!

10. The Yankees. Because they suck. If you need further proof, please consult this informative website. http://www.dotheyankeessuck.com/

9. The Nationals. Although they are geographically the closest team to Baltimore and would bring joy to people around me, I cannot live in world where the Nats are anything but a heartbreaking and soul crushing disappointment.

8. The LA Dodgers. You’ve had your chances. Don’t be the 1990’s Buffalo Bills. Just win. Or don’t. I am kinda sick of you.

7. St. Louis. See #10. Many of the same reasons.

6. Twins, 5. Athletics. (TIE) Neither of these teams offend me nor inspire me. I imagine MLB wants them both gone quickly for the same reason. My world won’t end if either of these 2 make it and I would probably like them more if they manage to upset the big boys.

4. The Astros. I like this team in part because they provide a blueprint for what the Orioles are trying to do. Their kind of success could be our kind of success in a few years.

3. The Rays. They have no fans, but they always have pitching. And they need the love.

2. The Braves. Because they have many old Orioles. I used to hate this team when they were good. Now they represent what we could have done with the same players. Plus, they have Nick Markakis, and dammit, he is a beloved former Oriole who deserves something for the years he was a shining star on a turd of a team like the 2006-2011 Orioles.

And finally….my hopes and good vibes all go to:

1. The Milwaukee Brewers. Because Milwaukee is kinda like Baltimore and I have some online friends who are fans and because I want to hear Bob Uecker call a World Series.


Ok! As each team gets eliminated, I will go down the list for the next one!

Where am I?

I used to live in southwest Baltimore, in a neighborhood that was just north of the world famous B&O railroad museum…I didn’t know what the neighborhood was called (Hollins Hills is one candidate, though I never heard anyone call it that.).

But some people called it “PIGTOWN.” A neighborhood so named because of its role in the pork trade like 100 years ago. Every year there is a pig race. I know. I could hear it from my window: the notes of Chariots of Fire, a movie most kids wouldn’t know but for some reason I saw in the theater.

I can’t tell you how many times I argued that I didn’t live in Pigtown.

It’s not like I’m vain. I don’t care what the name of the place I live is. I’m not a New Yorker or something, lying about where I live because I actually live in New Jersey. No. I just don’t live in Pigtown.

Then years later, do you know what the city did?

They put up banners on the side of the road that represented Pigtown’s northern border, welcoming people to Pigtown.

Sigh.

Where am I?

Before all that, I lived in Catonsville. Which isn’t really all that different from Arbutus. But for whatever reason, I was happy for that small distinction. Catonsville is not Arbutus. Fight me.

Then I lived in Charles Village. But people told me that wasn’t Charles Village…Yes it is…

No….it can’t be….

Yes. It is the lower part of Charles Village. It’s on the same block as the Ottobar.

Where is the Ottobar?

Oh…that’s in Remington…

Sigh.

Then there was that corner store that set up in Remington, displaying a sign that said Hampden Corner Market.

Oh boy. Don’t get me started about Hampden. It’s the hottest quirkiest little place in town, and I love it. In fact, everybody who moves to Baltimore now says they live in Hampden. Which is actually kind of annoying. But hey, it keeps the masses out of my neighborhood, which is most definitely not Hampden.

Well…maybe it is.

Bootstraps. A rambling Essay.

Work hard, and you too can be rich!

I am one of those throwbacks from a generation that still has an underlying sense of responsibility and dedication to the task at hand. We Gen-Xers have always taken a bad rap for being overeducated slackers, with no ambition and working jobs that are beneath us.

I say, all work is beneath us.

Selling the concept of getting people to work hard for no reason was one of the more devious ideas the proletariat has ever been sold. Like this sort of neo Calvinism or the fiction that hard work was somehow interrelated with gaining entry into Heaven. (Man, Believers are so easy to manipulate.)

Morality is a construct and means nothing to those in power. I would argue that one cannot be moral and powerful at the same time.

Getting back to the “hard work” idea…There are many good reasons to work hard. But none of them should have anything to do with the glory or the betterment of the organization.

Work hard for your family. Work hard because the job requires you to work hard. Work hard because you love or believe in what you do. Work hard because you own the business and want to see it succeed. Work hard if working hard will earn you more money (i.e., selling things on commission.) But don’t work hard because you somehow believe you owe anybody anything. You are not being lazy if you are doing no more than what your job requires. You are being smart.

Allowing people to let us believe that we are lazy is the way that we are manipulated and led to believe that the idle man is not deserving of anything. Well, sure, when you put it like that. I just happen to believe that nothing that I’ve ever done has put me closer to the Promised Land. Trust me. I’ve lived my life and I’ve worked more than 80 percent of it. I’m comfortable (finally) but I’ll never be rich. I think I’m done thinking that I want to kill myself to make a buck.

A fiction sold to us working people is one where we are told to work hard and we too can be rich! I have been working hard for 30 years. I am not rich. I never will be. I didn’t start off rich. I don’t have any rich relatives. I probably won’t start a business or learn a sport that enriches me. My best shot might be to break into the entertainment business. I can hope. But let’s be realistic: I’m not that good at anything. I oppose those who subscribe to the bootstrap fantasy, that pulling yourself up and “making it” is all you, and not “making it” is your fault, and has nothing to do with poor circumstance, bad luck, or a game that is stacked against you.

I oppose this whole fallacy and anyone who subscribes to it.

Subscribe to my fallacy, instead!

The AlphaSmart NEO2: a low cost “Distraction Free Writing Device.”

Over the summer I had a schedule that conflicted with my usual afternoon writing time. It actually interfered with nap, snack, shower and any other time I enjoyed during the afternoon.
But I looked into solving at least one of those problems when I saw something advertised on my Facebook feed. It was a 349 dollar FreeWrite device, something that didn’t print or connect to the internet and was meant to be a lightweight and portable distraction free writing device. But…spending that much money on something I might break seemed like a non-starter.
Then my wife began helping me search for a low cost alternative. Her search led us to the NEO2, the very device upon which I wrote the bulk of this post.

The NEO2 doesn’t look like much, and I feel like that’s the point. The screen is tiny, the keyboard is small (but still full-sized), and it doesn’t do anything online or connect to any cloud anywhere. In other words, it’s perfect. It does what it’s supposed to do. And it costs way less than the other lightweight distraction free devices advertised.
Mine came in a blue bag with the NEO logo, along with a chord to connect to my laptop. You will need a small Phillips head screwdriver to change the batteries at some point, though I believe mine just came with them. It runs on Double As.

How I use the NEO2:
During what I refer to as my…"awful late off time" months, I fell into a rhythm of typing in idle moments and then putting the machine away, then taking it home at the end of the week to transfer all the files to computer. Then I would clear the device of all files and pack it back into my bag for next week. It was from these files that a number of my recent blog posts have come.

As for a distraction free device…well, it is just that. I can’t do anything but write on the NEO2. That doesn’t mean I can’t be distracted by my phone or by other people or by my own daydreaming. But I can’t claim that the NEO2 is responsible for any lapse in production. The NEO2 is a no-bullshit writing tool that satisfies my personal need to make the most of whatever time I have. It boots up quick, it shuts down quick, and it is easy to move everything over when I’m done.

Among other things, I am really looking forward to using the NEO2 for The National Novel Writing Month (NanoWrimo) this year. This lightweight, easy on, easy off device is perfect for slipping into my bag and taking with me. And the fact that it didn’t cost much and would not be psychologically crushing to lose or break doesn’t hurt, either. Certainly one of the things that has made me hesitant to write at the coffee shop or in any other public place was the fact that my life is in that laptop. One spill or poorly placed drop and it would devastate me. Not so with a device that outside of the 40 bucks it cost me (and the joy I experience in having it) is only as valuable as the material still committed to the device and not yet transferred to the laptop. But considering that I have been good about making those weekly transfers, that doesn’t bother me so much.

And another thing: I can only see the last 4 lines I’ve written. I can’t obsess over anything I wrote before that. In that way, it is the ultimate Zen writing machine. I can misspell freely (we’ll figure it out in Word later) and write with reckless abandon.

This is why I can’t wait for Nanowrimo. Because I want to write with reckless abandon. The NEO2 is perfect for just that.

Keep calling it a hellhole, Motherfucker: My Baltimore Rant, Part 3 of 3.

Thanks for coming this far with me.

I can’t do a three part blog post without ending it with telling you about the things I love about Baltimore.

What we have here is a big wonderful city with lots of flaws. But the good things are what keep us here and keep us happy. I see it from a slightly different perspective from true blue locals because I am not native to this area. I grew up in a small city in Massachusetts where there wasn’t a lot to do and not a lot of opportunity (at the time) and when I was 18 I could have gone literally anywhere. I almost moved to Portland, Oregon (I did eventually move there for a few short months in 2003. I didn’t like it.) I could have moved to Florida. North Carolina. Boston. Northampton. Anywhere. Or at least, those places where I knew people who wanted me to live with them.

But for various reasons of circumstance and happenstance Baltimore drew my attention.

And while it was a rough place back in the ‘90s, I toughed it out. I rode public transportation at all hours of the night (not an option back home.) I walked everywhere at all hours. I explored. I took it in. I was excited. This was my new city, and I was enjoying being here.

It’s changed, as all places do. But within that change, there are those things that make living in this city which some label a hellhole worthwhile.

Great and abundant city parkland. My house borders one of the largest and in my opinion greatest park in the city, Druid Hill Park, where the third oldest zoo in the country is located, along with a mile and half reservoir loop (under construction at the moment), baseball fields, basketball courts, a pool, and it is one of my favorite places in all of Baltimore. There are a great many parks, many of which are connected by trails, but this one is my favorite.

I love the old buildings and the local history. The Bromo Selzer Tower, the B & O Railroad museum, with its distinctive dome that can be seen from miles away (clear view from the west side of Camden Yards. Beautiful.)

For that matter…Camden Yards is a national treasure, a retro ballpark in the heart of downtown. Hopefully one day we’ll have a good team again and the place will be rocking once more (the Billy Joel concert, the 1st of its kind to ever be held at the Yard was a great example of what it can be like when people show up.).

I love the people here. It was once described to me as “The Beginning of the south.” Ain’t that the truth, y’all?

Sure, sometimes people here can be dicks. Your town probably has some dicks. But most people are not dicks.

The neighborhoods, with their (sorry) quirky charm, the little moments that scream “That is soooo Baltimore”—guy coming out of his house to sing “I am everyday people!” or the ease with which people break out into unplanned dance moves, the guy who runs all over town at all hours every single day, the guy who dressed like Michael Jackson…and cheered people in some dark days.

I could go on. You don’t want me to.

This “quirky charm,” makes this a great city to develop your creative talent. If you have a skill or something to say, chances are there is a scene for you somewhere, or a stage to play on.

…point being, it’s not all hellhole…

But…keep calling it that. I’ll take a stranger’s word on the internet over my own observation any day.

Finally, it’s not about whether Baltimore is horrible or not (the answer: it can be. But not always and not everywhere.) Point being that once again, the president started something to distract everyone and now we are talking about the thing that he wants us to talk about. Hell, I’m doing it, too. It’s all very exhausting.

Get me out of this hellhole.

Thanks for reading.

My Baltimore Rant, part 2 of 3.

Many outsiders take shots at Baltimore City. I usually defend it. But I'm not blind to our issues.
For the record, here are things I can’t stand about Baltimore city:
1. Crime and murder. Yeah, it’s out of control. With the new police commissioner, much like with the Orioles, I hope the rebuild is successful, as we are still an outlier in the overall crime trend that is down in this country.

2. Jury Duty. Combination of high crime and low population, plus the fact that the city is an island unto itself, and not connected to any county that would offer up its population to form a jury pool, we as city residents are called upon like clockwork every year or two for this odious task.

3. There is no good way to get anywhere. Our roads are crap and not equipped to handle the level of traffic we get. Public transit is primitive…my foray into trying to ride the light rail to my job in the county was instructive. Basically, no person who could afford to own and drive a vehicle would give it up for a system that goes down as easily as it does around here.

4. People look down on us and we fight with people and often don’t have good arguments to refute them. I like to quote my favorite Baltimore slogan (which never caught on) Baltimore: either you get it, or you don’t. Yeah.

5. I really wish people here would vote. This could be a solid block of Democratic votes and could wield real power, if only, if only…

6. Meter maids and parking enforcement in general is a predator/prey dynamic that makes life miserable.

And another thing…why the hell are people who don’t live here so damn comfortable in condemning it? I don’t come out with broadsides against Peoria Illinois or Topeka Kansas or Knoxville. I mean, I’ve never been to any of those places. Hell, even places I’ve been to don’t get the ire that other people direct to the place where I live. Live and let live, to each his own, whatever, ya know?

Anyway, that’s what I got.

Next: In conclusion, and…what I love about this stupid place.

My Baltimore Rant. Part one.

Recently my city has been under attack by the president and the people who like to pile on and dump on the city that I have made home for the last 25 years. It has been an informative discussion of things I surely have never heard before. I was never aware of our many shootings, our corrupt police force or even our rat problem.

But…all sarcasm aside, A couple thoughts…

• Read an editorial by a suburban visitor that listed the cities many woes and offered distorted takes on how we as residents feel about it. What caught my eye was the free admission that this person is not a city resident.

To which my not at all sarcastic self responds with “Then shut up.”

• Elijah Cummings by the way, is not the only representative who represents Baltimore. As it happens, John Sarbanes is the rep on my side of town. John Sarbanes is white. Elijah Cummings is black and investigating Trump. This whole thing has nothing to do with Baltimore. Trump doesn’t give a fuck about Baltimore. He never did.

• I do not live in a hellhole. My neighborhood is nice. There are many such neighborhoods in Baltimore. There are also many shitty ones. A unique feature of this town is that often the good and the bad are right next to each other. They alternate. I call it “good block/bad block.”

• I understand privilege factors in. I can’t help that. I will never completely understand others’ lives or problems. But I make the attempt to empathize, (which is more than I can say for some people.) I just don’t lose my mind over it.

Look…we know this place is fucked up. Many of us accept the challenge of living here and trying to make it work.

The difference between me and the suburbanite casually tossing “shithole” bombs at us is that I don’t use those things as a reason to hate on this city.

Next: What I hate about living in the city.